If life gives you lemons....

  Okay, I know I've only been a blogger for like 2 days and I've written several posts and I really haven't meant to sound so negative.  I am a very happy person.  I'm just going through one of those weeks or months (maybe years) where everything goes wrong and life gets you down.  I am so happy though.  I have the prettiest little girl in the whole world and she keeps me laughing all the time.  She's got my same crazy humor and lord does she know she's funny.  She'll say something and then give you that 'I'm waiting' face because she knows you're about to bust out laughing.  I could go on and on about her and what a blessing she is in my life, not saying that I don't want to pull my hair out a few times a day.  But I love her, I wouldn't trade anything in the world for her.  There are a lot of blessings in my life and I'm going to try to be more positive. Ready, set......go!

No Biebs Or Gaga In Our House!

We are music fans in our house. I think it's important to find a music that you love and that some how connects to your soul. I love how a song can make me feel happy or sad or that reminds me how in love I am with my significant other. My daughter has really come into her own as far as music lately and she's played 'Hot Blooded' and 'Hotel California' a million times on my phone. I mean she's even named after my fav Eric Clapton song. <3 Layla <3 We listen to a lot of classic and southern rock at home and especially in the car. We listen to quite a bit of country too because we do live in the south and it's kind of required. LoL Well I was a little surprised this Sunday when my 5 year old came home from playing with her older cousin and she was singing a Lady Gaga song. I don't even really know how I knew it was Lady Gaga but I did. What the heck? I looked up the lyrics to the song and I can't believe kids are walking around with this crap blasting in their ears. "Want your bad romance want your ugly, I want your disease want your everything as long as it's free want your loveLove, love, love, I want your love"Now I know that kids are not going to pick up on what songs really mean but I don't want my kid to be singing songs like this or teaching it to other kids! Yeah I guess me growing up with Charlie Daniels and Eagles wasn't exactly nursery rhymes but it wasn't some half naked girl singing about"bluffin with her muffin". So I've said my peace and though she might hear this crap other places, these little pop "icons" won't be played at our house. I guess I feel like I'm doing something right because Layla did ask me' "Who is Justin Bieber?" ha ha teeny boppers that's a win for this Mommy!!

But you don't look sick....

Honestly I wake up on most days feeling like I'm 90 years old. Fibromyaliga, an autoimmune disease and weird stomach issues mean that on most days I am in an unbelievable amount of pain. At only 28 I suffer from crazy things like bursitis in my hips as well as other aches and pains. Its terrible, it's depressing and a lot of the time its more than I can stand. What I pray for more than anything is understanding. I look fine, I don't look sick but everyday my body is attacking itself. I don't wish this on anyone. But sometimes I wish that if people around me could feel what I'm feeling for just one day just so they understand why somedays I don't feel like doing anything. I'm not lazy, not by far. No matter how hard I work i cant ever seem to keep up with everything myself. that's due to my tiny tornado child. Some days it's the hardest thing in the world to even get out of bed but hey, I've got a 5year old. I don't get sick days. I do complain, a lot. I wish I didn't and I annoy myself but I guess that's how I vent. I just want to be understood. I pray I could feel good, not great, just good a few days of the week and that people didn't just think I'm capable of picking up their crap everyday. I look fine most days and that's the most frustrating part because I feel like death. I don't expect my sweet baby to understand why Mommy needs a lazy day sometimes. I spend a lot of tears on wondering why she got a Mommy that doesn't ever feel good. But to other people, give me a break. I may look normal, I may look fine. On the inside though my body is a war zone and I'm doing the absolute best I can with the cards God gave me. Just saying....

Crying Over Burnt Hamburgers

After 3 hours of sleep that night I was ill as a hornet yesterday. I got up and cleaned up the same mess I awake to everyday from the non-husband's midnight snack dishes to the snot rags that landed 1 inch from the bathroom trash can and due to laziness never quite made it in. LG was insanely hyper and by dinner making time I was about to loose my mind. The non-husband says he was joking but he came into the kitchen out of his shower and said, " you're burning my burger!" Now that was it. Let me tell you that I'm a great cook. Not just self proclaimed but I've heard that I was all my adult life. It's in my blood. I inherited it from my grandma and have spent my life learning everything I can from her. My family are the most picky, annoying eaters in the whole world. Pretty much every night I have to make 3 different things. I don't really eat that much meat and Scout well, don't even say the words fruit or veggies. LG, she decides she doesn't like something one day and it's the only thing she likes another day. Not one day goes by that she doesn't ask for me to make her a million things to eat and then doesn't want any of it after the fact. Scout doesn't know what's good and is teaching LG, in my opinion, a terrible way to be. They both make up in their heads that they don't like something before even trying it. I'm not picky and I like a huge variety of foods, even weird stuff. I'm not picky but I don't want hamburger helper or bacon every single night. I certainly don't want a ketchup Sandwhich which is what the child wanted. Well anyways, I threw me a pan full of veggies in the oven and went to work on Scout's burger. He likes his meat charcoled. And then he's going to actually dip the crap that he rips apart (he says he's picking out the fatty pieces) into a pile, YES I SAID A PILE, of salt. But his burger tonight was burnt. I guarantee you if I had cooked it one second less it wouldn't have been done enough. So I slam stuff around and even though I know he's just weird, out came the tears. Then what does he say to soothe me?!?!? "you don't have to cook for me,ever." Well thanks for the appreciation sweetheart. Like nothing I cook is good enough for him just because he's as stubborn as an ass. I wrapped up burger an put it in the fridge and took me a brisk walk outside. When I came in, there he sits at the kitchen table eating the burger, perfectly content. Now couldn't he just keep his mouth shut to begin with? I couldn't sit down and eat with him because after all that I couldn't deal with the sight of him picking at his fried squash, another thing I made just for him. Frying vegetables is something I'm not good at. I never really ever fried a vegetable until I met him. I like them better cooked using healthier ways. I mainly eat healthy food. My figure doesn't reflect that but my hormone caused fatness is yet another story for another day. On this day I would just like to say, " sit down at the table, eat and shut the hell up. Have a good one.

Naps are also the devil

I mentioned in my first bog that fibromyalgia is the devil. This weird disease that can take me from feeling great one second to feeling like I just got hit by a train 2.364 seconds later. I hurt in weird places for no reason. I am insanely tired on some days and then can't sleep at night. Once you finally find a dr that believes this is a real thing then you can't convience him that some pains aren't 'oh it's just your fibro". That's a whole different story too though. Ok, back on track. Some days I really need a nap. Some days I'm so much of a zombie that I feel like I'm in a dream and trust me if eating someone's brains would help me snap out of it, I would. But unless I have someone watching LG (my grandma is pretty much the only sitter I have), naps are out of the question. LG can't do naps. Since she was one year old if she blinks her eyes and keeps them closed slightly too long, she is going t I be up ALL night. I mean all night. I have to fight to keep her awake even when she's tired and ill and screaming with snot bubbles flooding the floor. Until she was 4 she would be up half he night even if she didn't take a nap. 1am to 6am every night for years. Now at 5 she's pretty good at sleeping thru the night but NO naps!!!!! Take for instance today...she played with her cousins (more like pulled their hair out and scratched heir eyes out) all day and she was beyond cranky and exhausted when we got home from my grandma's house. I went to he bathroom for 5 seconds around 6 pm while she had one of those oh so addictive Disney shows on. 'Goodluck Charlie' or some mess that I find myself watching for forever free she has stopped. Weird. So I walk into the living room after , kid you not, 5 sec and she's got that nasty thumb in her mouth with her eyes wide open snoring. I don't know what your kids look like when they are asleep. I hope not anything like LG, she's downright scarey!!So needless to say at 12:30 I was threatening her with everything she holds dear. 1 am asleep, thank you Jesus!! 1:25 the slightest sound of thunder and I though I heard little feet. I never see her so I roll back over and try to go to sleep. Then BAM!! Up pops her at the foot of my bed like some scary movie and scares the poop out of me!!! So she bombs into bed right between me and the non-hubby. He gets mad and goes to sleep in her bed. 30 more minutes she back asleep but here it is 4:10 am and I'm wide awake and LG never sleeps past 8:00 am ever. I love my hold with all my heart, I really do. But naps at my house are the devil. And gosh am I going to need one tomorrow. Gnight y'all!!

It's me ....

It's me, I'm Kim and I have a crazy life. First of all, my world is a little house in a GA town called Sugar Valley. Basically this little town is part of a city called Calhoun. But, some genius decided to give this part of Calhoun two stores and a post office and call it something else. Just to, ya know, make it difficult. We live on a dead end road called Bayview Drive. I think we got ripped off majorly because I have yet to find whatever bay we have a view of. Hey, it's home though. A little bitty house and a great big yard, a garden, a hammock, a chihuahua, a retarded cat (literally retarded), 4 chickens and a hamster. Oh, let's not forget the child and the non-husband. LG, more formally known as Layla-Grace (yes, I'm a Clapton fan) is the weirdest little 5yo kid I've ever known. Hey, I'm not the only person to say it. I love her, she changed my life but she's weird. I guess probably just like me. She thinks she's 16, she rolls her eyes and asks daily for her own phone. Whos's she going to call, Dora?!?!? But I love her, I do, to pieces. I plan on her bein my only one because I live her so much and well because she's crazy.....just like her Mommy. Now we come to the non-husband. Scout. Yes, that's his real name. I refer to him as my non-husband because after six years of dating, over a year of living together, and him stepping up and raising LG like she was his we are still not married. We are forever engaged. Trust me, I want to but he's scared to death. He says marriage changes people. My thoughts, if we haven't started hating eachother by now, we are prob. Of ever going to....too much. Scout's a genius when it comes to building things and he's overworked and under paid. The man loves to be outside and he loves to work hard. When we first met it was the long, blonde, beautiful hair and tanned skin that made me fall hard. He's still got all that going on and more now. He will soon be pretty much bad in he front and has grown a little bacon and beer gut in place of his hair. I have demanded him to still have a ponytail even when the few strands that are left fall out somewhere in the bathroom. Well I love him and he keeps me sane pretty much by driving me insane. 6 months after we started dating I popped out my baby girl which was not long after I found out I was pregnant. Yes, I'm one of "I didn't know I was pregnant" girls that I'm sure most of you think is just insane. But I found out 2 weeks before going into labor that something I was told couldn't happen was far....FAR.... On its way to happening. My crazy uterus and all that is a totally different story. Well after only 6 months of being together, Scout proved his love and he's been a Daddy ever since. Now me, the first thing I should say is I'm not great at spelling and grammar so don't judge. I'm pounding out the details of my like so try to sound out the words as best as possible. I'm 28, I have zero patience and I'm living with several diseases that in the past year have totally tried to take over my life. Fibromyalgia is the devil, add autoimmune junk and some weird stomach issues that haven't been future out yet to that and I'm pretty miserable most of the time. I get angry, I cry, somedays I don't see the point but I've got a crazy humor and despite constant pain, puking and pooping I laugh everyday. His is thanks to my little family. They make me totally crazy and drive me tithe brink but they are why I can keep going and keep 'Laughing at the pain". Take it or leave it. This blog is for me, not you. Rude comments will be deleted and ignored, after all you can press that little x at the corner of he page at anytime.